The Benefits of Sexual Empowerment
by Linda White Dove, Awakening Facilitator
Our sexual energy is the energy that creates and maintains us. Beyond the obvious function of reproduction, sexual energy is the power to manifest our love in this world by opening us to our wholeness, vitality, joy, connectedness, vulnerability and ability to feel. These are the qualities that lead to an experience of our divinity in our humanity.
Sexual Empowerment is the conscious awareness and embodiment of sexuality and spirituality as One. Spirituality is knowing that all of life is part of a web of relatedness and that we are part of a larger whole. Whether perceived through the lens of religion, science or some other perspective, spirituality usually means a desire to better understand the whole of which we are a part and the desire to apply that learning in order to have a better life and make a difference in the world.
As we reach into the realms of spirituality, we become more able to see, understand and live beyond the veils of our social conditioning and as a result feel the desire to live in new ways. Our minds and hearts open adding new perspective enabling us to see beyond the veils of shame, fear, doubt, social conditioning and find more fulfilling ways of being. As we start to understand that all life is connected, we strengthen our connection to the love that is uniting us all as one. Fear of being hurt, abandoned, “found out,” “not good enough,” poverty, aloneness, death and many other fears subside and are replaced by an inner confidence and knowing/trusting.
Applying this way of being means also a change in how we understand our sexuality and how we relate to each other as sexual beings. Our sexuality is part of our “romantic connections,” but it is also a part of the assumptions about what it means to be male and female and how we live this in all our interactions. Most of the time we carry these assumptions in the form of “shoulds” which unconsciously govern our behaviors and limit our ability to express ourselves fully. As a result, we live out scripted roles like characters in a play because we do not know there are other options or because we are afraid of the consequences of not being “normal.”
When we interact with each other based on limiting roles we limit each other. Over time the assumptions of how we are “supposed” to be, combined with the lack of support to be ourselves and the pressure to be what everyone else supposedly wants us to be create a backlash of resentments (baggage) which manifests as relationship difficulties. In “romantic” relationships partners may experience lack of joy, communication difficulties, lack of sexual arousal/satisfaction, drifting apart, etc. In everyday interactions it may manifest as: resentment, competition, acting out, escapism in the form of addictions, stress and illness of all kinds.
Connecting our experience of sexuality and spirituality (Sexual Empowerment) means:
* The opportunity to determine and embody who we are sexually as women/men, as human beings and as part of a community. As a result, there is more fulfillment in sexual relatedness. We interact from a place of authenticity that replaces fear based ways of being, bringing about a new understanding of power as love.
* Offering both men and women the opportunity to see beyond the social conditioning of what men and women are “supposed” to be (and the ways of interacting that have resulted). It gives us a chance to see beyond the anger, fear and hurt, to the person who is underneath. We all have the same needs and fears and we all are connected via the same love. It gives us a chance to heal together united by our humanity. Communication improves in both “romantic” relationships and in everyday interactions.
* Making peace with our bodies rather than trying to live up to an impossible standard of beauty that is defined by someone else. Our bodies are all manifestations of the divine and are a reflection of the beauty of God/dess (love).
*Experiencing true sexual fulfillment which comes from allowing ourselves to really be open and present to ourselves and each other. This openness (intimacy) creates an enhanced sensitivity to pleasure. The depth and breadth of pleasure is infinite as is our willingness to be open and intimate.
*Improved health, including sexual health. “Sexual dysfunction,” is often a result of restriction of sexual expression and societal pressure to live up to someone elses’ definitions of normal. Likewise for many other health challenges.
*More vitality and aliveness. Our sexual energy is the life force energy which not only created us but also keeps us feeling nourished by life, energized, renewed and creative. It is likely that healthy flow of sexual energy also slows the aging process.
*Releasing fear, shame, anger, blame and hurt from past situations including abuse, and “heartbreak” in order to relate to oneself and others in more open, joyful and trusting ways.
*The opportunity for us to live as empowered beings. Our sexuality is a vehicle for experiencing and living our divinity.
*Ending violence. The anger that causes someone to act out in violence is based on a lack of opportunity and support for expressing themselves (including their sexual energy) in ways that are fulfilling. Our sexual energy is the way that we express our empowerment in the world. When we cannot express our sexual selves because we are taught that it is “bad,” or because we have been hurt by others who have not been able to express themselves and be valued in the world, the energy has to come out in some way. It comes out in a way that is hurtful and harms both the person expressing it and others. It is not the expression of sexual energy that is harmful and creates violence, it is the suppression of our natural expression of sexual energy.
*Community. Sexuality is a vehicle for experiencing the web of life of which we are all part. This web of life is always and has always been present but most of the time we are too preoccupied with our experience of separateness to notice it. The openness to intimacy with another person creates the presence/openness in the moment to tap into the depth of being and connectedness that is divinity/wholeness.
*Peace on Earth. The balancing of inner masculine and inner feminine within each person (which comes from releasing fear and misunderstanding about sex “roles”) opens the doors to a balanced expression of these divine energies on this planet. Both the masculine and feminine energies are expressed from the expansive paradigm offered by spirituality, allowing not only balance but wholistic/evolved/loving balance. It is this balance which brings about peace and growth.
***This article is an excerpt from the Sexual Empowerment Activation***